The "Shoulds" Inventory

Instructions: Complete these sentences fast. Don't think—just write what comes up first.
I should...

1. ___________________________________________________________ Who's voice? _______________________________

2. ___________________________________________________________ Who's voice? _______________________________

3. ___________________________________________________________ Who's voice? _______________________________

4. ___________________________________________________________ Who's voice? _______________________________

5. ___________________________________________________________ Who's voice? _______________________________

6. ___________________________________________________________ Who's voice? _______________________________

7. ___________________________________________________________ Who's voice? _______________________________

8. ___________________________________________________________ Who's voice? _______________________________

9. ___________________________________________________________ Who's voice? _______________________________

10. __________________________________________________________ Who's voice? _______________________________

11. __________________________________________________________ Who's voice? ______________________________

12. __________________________________________________________. Who's voice? _______________________________

Now: Whose voice is that?
Go back through your list. Next to each "should," write whose voice you actually hear:

Mom - Family expectations, traditional values, "what will people think"
Dad - Achievement, success metrics, financial security
Society - Cultural norms, gender roles, age expectations
Religion - Moral rules, duty, sacrifice
Partner - Relationship expectations, domestic roles
Boss/Career - Professional standards, ambition, productivity
Friends - Social comparison, peer pressure, lifestyle matching
Past Self - Old promises, outdated dreams, who you thought you'd be
Media - Instagram perfect, success narratives, youth worship
No idea - You can't even remember where this came from anymore

The Pattern:
Count how many "shoulds" belong to each voice.
Your highest count: _______________________________
That's who's been writing your script.

The Test:
Pick your top 3 "shoulds." For each one, ask:
"If no one would ever know, judge, or care—would I still choose this?"

If YES → Keep it. It's actually yours.
If NO → It's programming. Not preference.
If MAYBE → You're negotiating with the script. Dig deeper.

The Truth:
Most of your "shoulds" aren't yours. They're borrowed beliefs you never agreed to carry.
The ones that drain you? Those aren't values. They're obligations you inherited.
Time to give them back.

Ready to clear the noise?
Take the Midlife Reset Tool to see which scripts are loudest in your life. Then get the 7-day challenge to torch the "shoulds" that were never yours to begin with.
Stop performing someone else's life. Start living your own.