The Exit Strategy Template

The Problem:
You know you need to leave. The job. The relationship. The friendship. The commitment. The city. The version of yourself you've been performing.
But you're stuck. Not because you don't want to go—because you don't know how.
Or you're afraid of the fallout. Or you think you don't have the right. Or you're waiting for it to get "bad enough" to justify leaving.
Here's your exit plan.

STEP 1: NAME WHAT YOU'RE LEAVING
Be specific. "My life" isn't an exit strategy.
I am considering leaving:

Examples:

My marriage of 20 years
My job at X company
My friendship with Y
My role as the family mediator
The city I've lived in for a decade
The version of myself that always says yes
________________________________________________________________________

STEP 2: WHY YOU'RE STAYING

Not why you should leave. Why you're STILL THERE.
List every reason you're staying. The real ones. Not the noble ones.

I'm staying because:

* Financial security/dependence
* Fear of judgment from others
* Guilt (feel responsible for their feelings/situation)
* Hope it will get better
* Don't want to hurt them
* Fear of being alone
* Sunk cost ("I've invested so much")
* Don't know who I am without this
* Waiting for them to change
* Afraid I'll regret it
* Don't think I deserve better
* Fear of failure/proving critics right
* Comfort of the familiar (even if it's killing me)
* Other: _______________________________

The pattern in my reasons:

(Is it fear? Guilt? Money? Identity? Someone else's needs?)
________________________________________________________________________

STEP 3: WHAT STAYING IS COSTING YOU
Get specific. Vague dissatisfaction won't move you.
Staying is costing me:

Emotionally: _______________________________
(Ex: Self-respect, peace, joy, sense of self)

Physically: _______________________________
(Ex: Sleep, health, energy, vitality)

Financially: _______________________________
(Ex: Earning potential, opportunities, growth)

Relationally: _______________________________
(Ex: Other relationships suffering, resentment building, authenticity dying)

Time: _______________________________
(Ex: Years I won't get back, opportunities closing, life passing)

If I stay another year, what will it cost me? ___________________________________

If I stay another five years, what will it cost me? _________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

STEP 4: THE LOGISTICS

Feelings matter. But logistics matter more when you're actually leaving.

FINANCIAL INVENTORY:

Current income: _______________________________
Savings: _______________________________
Debts/obligations: _______________________________
Minimum monthly expenses: _______________________________
Financial runway (how long can you survive without income): _______________________________
Income sources I could create: _______________________________
Financial support available (if needed): _______________________________

PHYSICAL LOGISTICS:

Where would I go? _______________________________
What would I take? _______________________________
What would I need to secure first? (Documents, accounts, keys, etc.)

Who needs to know? _______________________________
Who do I NOT tell until I'm gone? _______________________________

SUPPORT SYSTEM:

People who would support this exit:________________________________________________________

People who would try to stop me: __________________________________________________________

Professional help I need: (Therapist, lawyer, financial advisor, coach)_________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________

STEP 5: THE TIMELINE

Exit type I'm planning:

* Clean break (Leave and don't look back)
* Phased exit (Reduce involvement gradually)
* Strategic exit (Build alternative first, then leave)
* Emergency exit (Leave immediately for safety)

My realistic timeline:
In 1 month, I will: _______________________________
In 3 months, I will: _______________________________
In 6 months, I will: _______________________________
My exit date (if I have one): _______________________________
What I need in place before I can leave:______________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________

STEP 6: THE SCRIPT
What you'll say when you exit. Practice it. Memorize it. Don't negotiate.
What I will say:

Examples:

"I'm leaving. This isn't working for me anymore."
"I've accepted another position. My last day is X."
"I need to end this friendship. I'm not available for this dynamic anymore."
"I'm moving out. I've found a place. We can discuss details, but the decision is final."

What I will NOT say:

Lengthy explanations
Justifications for my choice
Apologies for choosing myself
Invitations to debate my decision
Promises to stay in touch if I don't want to
_____________________________________________________________________________________________

STEP 7: SAFETY CHECK
Is this exit potentially dangerous? (Physical, financial, emotional abuse/control)

Yes
No
Unsure

If YES:
Do NOT use this template alone. Contact: ____________________________________________________

National Domestic Violence Hotline
Local women's shelter
Trusted professional who understands abuse dynamics

Safety considerations:

Do not announce your exit in advance
Secure documents, money, valuables first
Have a safe place arranged
Tell someone trustworthy about your plan
Change passwords, secure accounts
Have an emergency contact

Your safety matters more than being polite about your exit.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

STEP 8: THE AFTERMATH PLAN

Leaving is hard. The aftermath is harder. Plan for it.
When I leave, I will likely feel:

* Relief
* Guilt
* Grief
* Fear
* Doubt
* Freedom
* Loneliness
* All of the above

When doubt shows up, I will remind myself: ____________________________________________

When guilt shows up, I will remember: _________________________________________________

When I want to go back, I will: _________________________________________________________

My non-negotiables for the next 6 months: ____________________________________________

THE TRUTH:
You don't need permission to leave. You don't need it to be "bad enough." You don't need a perfect plan.

You need:

A clear reason (you're not happy, it's costing too much, you want different)
A basic plan (where you'll go, how you'll survive)
The willingness to be uncomfortable (exit is hard, staying is harder)

Waiting for the perfect time means staying forever.
Waiting for them to change means abandoning yourself.
Waiting for permission means giving your power away.

Now what?
Fill this out. Honestly.
If you're not ready to exit yet—fine. But know your reasons. Know your timeline. Know your cost.
If you're ready—pick your 1-month action. Do it this week.
The exit doesn't have to be dramatic. It just has to be yours.

Ready to plan your exit?
Take the Midlife Reset Tool to see which scripts keep you trapped in situations that no longer serve you. Then get the 7-day challenge to practice choosing yourself, building your exit plan, and executing it without guilt.
Stop waiting for permission to leave. Start planning your way out.