Ostara vs. Easter: The Great Spiritual Plagiarism Nobody Talks About

Ever noticed how Christian holidays always seem to line up suspiciously well with older pagan festivals? It’s like the ultimate cosmic case of copy my homework, but make it look different.

Christmas? Basically the Winter Solstice with a PR makeover. Halloween? A heavily sanitized Samhain. Easter? Oh, you mean Ostara—but with more bunnies and fewer references to fertility goddesses.

It’s almost like, instead of convincing pagans to drop their "silly rituals," the early church just went, "Fine, we’ll just rebrand your holidays and call it a day."

Ostara: The Original Spring Awakening

Long before pastel-colored eggs and hollow chocolate bunnies, Ostara (celebrated around the Spring Equinox) was a pagan festival dedicated to new beginnings, fertility, and—shockingly—rebirth. The name itself is linked to Eostre, a Germanic fertility goddess, whose sacred symbols were—drumroll, please—rabbits and eggs.

That’s right. The fluffy-tailed, fast-breeding bunnies and the little symbols of life inside a shell? They were pagan fertility symbols long before they became Easter decorations.

Ostara was about honoring balance—day and night finally being equal, the Earth waking up from winter’s brutal slap, and people getting outside to celebrate the return of warmth and life.

And then… Christianity happened.

Easter: Jesus, Meet the Fertility Goddess

When Christianity rolled in, they knew people really liked their seasonal celebrations. Instead of trying to erase them, they just repackaged the whole thing and slapped a Jesus sticker on it.

Spring festivals about fertility and rebirth? No problem. Just swap out Eostre’s fertility themes with the resurrection of Christ. Keep the eggs (but pretend they represent the empty tomb instead of new life). Keep the rabbits (but don’t talk about their original symbolism). And just to make it official, tie the holiday to the Jewish Passover so it seems more legit.

The result? A weird mashup of Christian theology, pagan fertility symbols, and corporate capitalism that sells you chocolate in the shape of bunnies while subtly reminding you to feel guilty about your sins.

Speaking of Holiday Irony… The Christmas Tree Situation

If Easter is the biggest case of spiritual plagiarism, Christmas is the most hilarious.

Let’s talk about the evergreen tree.

Every December, Christians drag a massive pagan fertility symbol into their house, decorate it with sparkly stash, and gather around it to celebrate the birth of Christ—a guy who, let’s be real, was born in the Middle East, where fir trees are not exactly a thing.

The tradition of bringing evergreens inside during the winter goes way back to pre-Christian Europe, where Celts, Norse, and Germanic pagans saw evergreen trees as a symbol of eternal life, protection, and resilience. In a season where everything else was dead, evergreens reminded people that life kept going.

So pagans would decorate their homes with holly, mistletoe, and fir branches to honor nature’s power and ensure the return of the sun. They even lit candles to encourage the sun god to come back.

Sound familiar?

Then, somewhere along the way, Christians decided "Sure, let’s keep the tree, but now it’s about Jesus." And here we are—two thousand years later—still hauling a massive pagan tree into the living room while singing about a baby born in a desert.

I find this absolutely hilarious.

So… Should You Celebrate Ostara or Easter?

Honestly? Celebrate whatever the hell you want.

If you love decorating eggs, eating way too much candy, and pretending a giant rabbit delivers gifts (which, let’s be honest, is just Santa Claus but creepier), go for it. If you want to light a candle, honor the changing seasons, and thank Mother Earth for not killing us this winter, also great.

Just know that whatever you celebrate, you’re participating in a tradition far older than you’ve been told.

So whether you're baking hot cross buns, planting seeds, or just enjoying the first hints of spring, remember: the pagans did it first. And they probably did it better.

Happy Ostara. Or Easter. Or whatever remix you prefer. 🌿🐰✨

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